Linkin Park Songfic Trilogy
by Meltdownbabe
Summary: Songfics of Linkin Park's songs. First one up, "Somewhere I Belong" Tabitha centered with Logan, Amara, and Bobby as secondary characters.


Main Character: Tabitha Smith  
Other Important Characters: Logan, Bobby, Amara, Ray  
Song: Linkin Park "Somewhere I Belong"  
A/N: This is the first in the Linkin Park Songfic Series. Suggestions? Review them to me. Most of the fics won't be connected, that's what I got planned so far.  
  


**"Somewhere I Belong"  
_First Fiction_**  


**  
When this began I had nothing to say**  
**And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me**  
**I was confused**  


  
Tabby sat on the floor in the institute. She had just left the brotherhood and rejoined the institute, but she didn't seem to fit in here. She watched as people walked past her laughing, smiling, having a good time; even Rogue was laughing, and talking to Remy. She looked away from everyone and pushed herself off of the ground and walked out of the room. She continued down the hall, seeing more smiling faces, everyone here seemed so happy, nothing that she ever really felt. Sure people thought she was always happy; cause that's what she wants them to think, she could never reveal the pain she felt inside to them at all.  
  
She continued walking, passing Ororo who was on the phone, she let out a small laugh and smiled at Tabby as she passed her. Tabby put on her famous smile as she walked passed; the smile soon fading to nothing, just as she felt; nothing. She didn't know what to do, so many things happened to her, so many things; she was a wreck.  
  


**And I let it all out to find that   
I'm not the only person with these things in mind  
Inside of me**  


  
Tabby continued to walk, picking up the pace to her room that she shared with Amara. Once reaching the room she opened the doorknob, expecting to see Amara there, but there was no one. Just as always in Tabitha's life, no one was there for her when she needed them. She dropped her head and slammed the door shut behind herself and locked it walking to her mirror looking at her face, practicing her smile that she uses on everyone.  
  
She sighed after awhile, she was tired of it all, she turned her head away from the mirror and looked back, looking at herself she felt a flashback.  
  
_ It was the first day at the institute, she was the first of the New Recruits to arrive. She had been one of the closer New Recruits, and needed to be picked up right away in fear of her father returning. She was alone in the same room looking at a picture of her family, her broken family. That night, alone in the big room, she had a nightmare and screamed awakening Logan and Xavier. They had rushed in quickly, she was still screaming her head off with tears burning behind her eyes threatening to come out. Though the tears did not fall.  
  
"Calm down, kid." Logan had said to her, she stopped screaming as Logan walked closer to her, he looked threatening, she went to the far side of her bed, and fell off of it, trying to get away from him. Charles saw this; stopped Logan from moving closer and wheeled over to her. He placed his hands on her head; reliving her dream, then her mind shut off. She cut Xavier out of her mind, the professor looked on worriedly, comforting her that night._  
  
Tabby came back from that vivid memory staring at her blue eyes. She blinked, and looked at her eyes carefully, seeing tears on the verge, she hadn't cried in such a long time, she thought didn't know how to anymore.  
  


**But all the vacancy the words revealed**  
**Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel**  
**Nothing to lose**  


  
Tabby turned away from her mirror quickly and fell onto her bed looking up at the ceiling as another flashback hit her.  
_  
"Tabby your mother and I; we love you." It was her father, she was laying on the couch, bleeding, bruised. She looked up at him, blue eyes wide open in fear, she had been crying, that was the last time her tears spilled from her eyes.  
  
"Marty! Stop it!" Tabby's mother cried out as his steel blue eyes narrowed at her mother, he stopped hitting his daughter and turned to his wife.  
  
"You, stay out of this you bitch!" He said taking the knife he had used earlier on Tabitha and threw it at his wife.  
  
"Mommy!" Tabby cried out, she was only six years old as she saw the knife hit her mother in the chest.  
  
"Don't worry about Mommy, she was a bad girl just like you, but I still love you." Her father said as he picked up his belt and hit her with it._  
  
Tabby closed her eyes remembering that night; her mother had been rushed to the emergency room, and her father left them there. They were a broken family, he said he loved her. She had believed him, now she knew it was a lie. Just words that were said with no feelings behind it, just nothing. She hugged her pillow and blinked rapidly before closing her eyes again. Tabby sniffled and stood up putting her pillow down, wandering to her mirror again. She stared at her blonde hair; she had inherited it from him. She frowned in disgust.  
  


**Just stuck, hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own   
And the fault is my own**  


  
Tabby turned away from her mirror for a brief second before turning back to it and swinging her fist at it angrily. The mirror shattered, tiny bits of glass cutting her hand and falling onto the dresser; the crash seemed to echo in the mind of Tabitha. She gripped the dresser top and panted angrily. She looked up at the mirror, broken; then still seeing parts hanging on she took her other hand and punched it shattering the rest of the glass and having her other hand become just as bloody. She turned away from the dresser and saw the other mirror in the room. She ran to the wall and grabbed it throwing it across the room as it shattered against the wall. Many shards of glass fell onto her bed blanketing it in glass.  
  
"I don't want this, I don't." Tabby said to herself as she went to her closet, hearing banging on the door. She chose to ignore it as she fished around her room for her duffel bag. She found it, still packed, she learned to never unpack, she was always on the go. She went to her dresser and grabbed the only things that she had out, pictures. She looked at them then threw them across the room. One was her and Amara, another of her and her mother, with her father's head clearly ripped out of the picture. There was another of all the New Recruits, then a Brotherhood picture, and finally the big group picture after defeating Apocalypse. She ran to her desk and grabbed a pen and paper and wrote:  
  
_'Dear Xavier,  
  
Thank you for believing in me and giving me a second chance, I don't fit here though, you got to understand that. There's no reason for me to stay, still not a good fit. Sorry about the mess, I need to go.  
  
Tabby'_  
  
She signed the note wearily and put it in plain sight as she shoved her feet in her boots.  
  


**I want to heal, I want to feel **  
**What I thought was never real**  
**I want to let go of the pain I've held so long**  
**Erase all the pain till it's gone**  


  
Tabby closed her eyes, knowing that the choice she was making was the right, this place was too good for her. Too good for trailer park trash, too good for a girl who was beaten as a child, too good for her, all of her. She reopened her eyes and walked to her window, she heard the banging, it was Bobby, she heard him yelling.  
  
"Tabby open up, was that you? Come on open up." She frowned hearing his voice and opened the window and then the screen. Nothing was here for her, nothing, just as everywhere else, nothing. She wanted something though, she knew what she was searching for. She needed to know that she was loved, but that's exactly what she also pushes away, love. Deep in the back of her head she knew this place had people that cared, Xavier, Amara, Bobby, heck even Logan at times. She swung her leg out her window and pulled the duffel closer to her as she sat in the window, half in half out.  
  


**I want to heal, I want to feel **  
**Like I'm close to something real.**  
**I want to find something I've wanted all along**  
**Somewhere I belong**  


  
Tabby stayed like this for another second, she looked below her seeing no one there, glad, no one to see her exit. Bobby had stopped banging, he was still there though, she could hear his voice echoing into the back of her own, chilling her to the bone.  
  
"Tabby, I know that was you, come on open up, it sounded like a window or mirror broke, Tabitha, are you okay?" He sounded so worried about her, she shook her head.   
  
'He's not worried he's pretending to be' Her mind thought as she moved her head to the outside of the window, checking again to see no one there, she moved it back inside. She didn't know where she would go, the brotherhood wasn't an option, she thought she'd be living back on the streets. She definitely didn't want to see her parents at all. Those were the last people she needed to see.  
  


**And I've got nothing to say**  
**I cant believe I didn't fall right down on my face**  
**I was confused**  


  
Tabby nodded her head swinging her other leg out, turning so her stomach was against the windowsill. She moved her foot and found the lattice and moved her other foot to it as well. She used this lattice plenty of times to sneak out with Amara or Ray and Sam or Bobby. That's when another flash hit her.  
  
_ "Come on what are you scared?" Tabby had been taunting Sam about the lattice, Amara was well asleep.  
  
"No Ah don' think it will support meh."  
  
"It will to." Tabby responded as Ray reached the ground with Bobby. She pushed Sam towards it and he had gotten onto the lattice, claiming that he heard snapping, but Tabby didn't believe him for she had went down with no problems. The four of them then ran off, to go cause mischief in the night._  
  
Tabby had the thought Sam had just then when she released her hold on the windowsill putting pressure onto the lattice with her whole body. She slowly climbed down as the lattice broke! She let out a small noise as her feet slipped off as well as her one hand. Looking down then back up she tried to re-grab the lattice and failed only to have her other hand let go. She fell to the ground, landing on her feet luckily. She felt a burn in them but looked away from the institute, she ran. Not looking back.  
  


**Looking everywhere only to find that it's**  
**Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.**  
**So what am I**  


  
Tabby ran through the gate and kept running. Her feet pounded against the pavement, she was in the street running. She felt the blood on the back of her hand trickle down her arm and the blood from the lattice start to come out. She ignored the sticky feeling as she continued to run, she still didn't know where she was going. She just kept running.  
  
"Hey watch where your going!" An angry car driver called out to her as he slammed the brakes, nearly hitting her. Tabby hit the hood of his car and continued to run across the road. She went into an alley and emerged on the other side of the block. She turned right and continued running, half on the street half on the sidewalk, trying as best as possible to avoid people.  
  


**What do I have but negativity**  
**Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me**  
**Nothing to lose**  


  
She continued down the street, people giving her weird glances. She knew she looked horrible, her blonde hair she knew was a mess, her hands were bloody and she had a bag swung over her shoulder. She ran hitting shoulders with a taller man, but spinning off of him and continued to run in the opposite direction of the institute.  
  
Her lungs expanded needing air as she gasped for breathe. She stopped running as she reached a lake, she walked over to it calmly and dropped her stuff at the dock of the lake. No one was around her at all, she could feel all the anger inside of her surfacing as she tried her best to mask her emotions as usual. She looked down at her bloodied hands, turning them over and seeing the cuts and scrapes, and having some glass still lodged in her skin.  
  


**Nothing to gain, hollow and alone**  
**And the fault is my own **  
**And the fault is my own**  


  
Tabby stared down at the water, the reflection of herself, she had to look away from it, she disgusted herself. No wonder no one wanted to love her or get close to her. She knew she would end up hurting them, or worse as she feared they would hurt her. Tabby had too many let downs in her life, she didn't want to have another, so she built a thick wall around her heart, not letting anyone in, not showing any emotions, being a care free know-it-all who doesn't give a damn. She didn't feel good at all anymore, nothing seemed to be working for her, and everything wrong, ever, anyone blamed her. She was Tabby, the wild child who can't listen or take directions, the one no one wanted to get to know. She balled her hands up in fists angrily as she turned towards the lake again.  
  


**I want to heal, I want to feel **  
**What I thought was never real**  
**I want to let go of the pain I've held so long**  
**Erase all the pain till it's gone**  


  
Tabby slowly dropped her fingers, and let them lay by her side. She closed her eyes and felt the wind blowing on her back as she stood in front of the lake.   
  
Behind her, was Logan, Bobby, Amara, and Ray in the far distance. Logan had broken into the room after Bobby told him that he was worried. Logan read the note and sniffed the air, knowing she climbed out the window that had been open. He saw the blood and the pictures all around the room. Amara had bent down besides the picture of her and Tabby and a tear had slipped down her cheek, she had been playing with Ray with Logan watching them, but now worry filled her face.  
  
Logan had reluctantly took the three kids with him, following her scent, on foot. They raced to keep up with Logan to find their missing friend. Tabby, who was oblivious to all of this took a step towards the lake. She looked down at her reflection for the last time. She didn't want to live this life anymore.  
  


******I want to heal, I want to feel **  
**Like I'm close to something real**  
**I want to find something I've wanted all along**  
**Somewhere I belong**

  
"This is where I belong." Tabby said to herself in a hoarse whisper as she took another step to the edge of the dock. "No one wants me, I belong dead." Tabby said as she locked out her arms by her side, closing her eyes and fell forward like a board into the lake.  
  
"Tabby, no!" Amara cried out as they hit the grass seeing her fall forward.  
  
"What's she doing?" Bobby asked frightened.  
  
"Logan do something." Amara squealed out as Logan rushed to the lake.  
  
'This is what I feel, cold, empty.' Tabby thought to herself as the water surrounded her. She felt her feet hit the bottom after twisting in the water to stay underneath. She found her fee stuck on something underneath all of the water. A smile curled upon her lips at her beautiful escape. She slowly lost the smile as she began to run out of air.  
  


**I will never know   
Myself until I do this on my own**

  
Tabby underneath the water had begun to faze in and out of consciousness. Flashes of images filled her head.  
  
_ Amara and her first meeting when she didn't like the Nova Roman princess  
  
Bobby and her playing pranks on other students at the institute  
  
Blue and her fooling around at the training room session  
  
Her father coming and using her as usual  
  
The brotherhood boys and her laughing at the television  
  
The cruise with Amara where she learned more about her powers when she fell inside the volcano  
  
Fighting Xavier and Apocalypse  
  
Back at the institute with a few newer recruits, Remy and Piotr_  
  
Logan had dived into the water swimming to the bottom where he saw Tabby. She was standing upright, but staying on the bottom, he swam closer to her seeing her feet tangled up in things on the bottom of the lake, Logan unsheathing his claws cut her free, grabbing a hold of her and swimming to the surface.  
  


**And I will never feel   
Anything else until my wounds are healed**

  
Logan broke the surface holding Tabby, she was still conscious, but she would of rather been knocked out. Logan swam them to the edge of the lake and dragged himself and her out of the water. Amara, Ray, and Bobby ran over to the girl who had tried to take her life away.  
  
"Tabby, Tabby, are you okay?" Bobby asked seeing her fists, they didn't have blood on them but there was pieces of glass and they were easily seen as cut up. Logan laid his head on her chest, hearing her heart beat faint and her breathing irregular.  
  
"Tabitha can you hear us at all?" Logan asked moving his face in front of her eyes. They fluttered open for a brief second and closed again as she rolled away from him. Logan rolled her back. "Tabby speak to us." Logan said worriedly, Amara was shaking uncontrollably as Bobby supported her. Ray knelt down besides Tabby and brushed a strand of her blonde hair.  
  
"Why are you here?" Tabby said lowly, Ray only heard it mumbled but Logan heard it loud and clear.  
  
"We were worried about you, what the hell were you doing in that lake?" Logan asked though he thought he knew.  
  
"Healing myself."  
  
"You nearly drowned." Logan countered, not understanding what she meant.  
  


**I will never be   
Anything till I break away from me**

  
Tabitha sat up slowly as Logan moved himself to be in front of her. She looked into his brown eyes, and had to look away quickly. She saw him so worried about her, but she had to deny the fact to herself.  
  
"That's what I wanted to do." She said so low he barely heard her.  
  
"Tabitha-" Amara began, she hadn't heard a word the blonde said, but saw her mouth moving.  
  
"I need to get away."  
  
"From where?" Logan asked her as he put his hand on her hand, Tabby flinched at the reaction as Logan took it and held it in his own.  
  
"Myself." Tabby said staring at their hands. Logan looked up at the three worried teenagers, he didn't know what to say, he was at loss for words. The three were silent, they were shocked at what Tabitha had done to her room, and now this!  
  


**And I will break away   
I'll find myself today**

  
Logan looked at her and grabbed her other hand and put them together, he lightly pulled her off of the ground, as she tumbled forward into his arms. Logan let a brief smile appear on his face before he became worried again.  
  
"Tabby, why-what-" Logan didn't know how to word what he wanted to ask her. He had so many questions that he wanted her to answer. Tabby looked up at him, tilting her head back a tiny bit, her eyes were open wider this time, and Logan could see the tears behind them. She blinked and yet the tears remained locked within herself.  
  
"Tabby come back to the institute, I read your note, and this is where you belong, with friends," Logan paused then added, "And people who love you." As Logan said the word love, Tabitha shut her eyes and looked down at herself. Slowly but surely a tear slid down her face, it wasn't recognized by Logan until she lifted her head, and he saw the marks of the tear through her wet face. She clung to him, not sure of what else to do, and shivering at the breeze that wold have felt nice if they both weren't soaking wet.  
  
"I-I-can't"  
  
"Yes you can, it's where you belong everyone knows that, look deep down, you know that too." Logan said as Amara looked at Bobby and Ray. Bobby lightly squeezed her hand and Ray put his arm around her shoulder comfortingly.  
  


**I want to heal, I want to feel   
What I thought was never real  
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long  
Erase all the pain till it's gone**

  
"But, there's so many memories, so many bad times." Tabby said as she turned her face and let it rest against his chest. Logan felt sorry for her, he knew that she had a very rough childhood, he wanted her to know that it was all okay, and that they were there for her. He felt rage against her father, he had done this to her, and no one should have gone through what she had. He tightened his arms around her, and lowered his head to look at the top of her wet blonde hair.  
  
"Tabby, let it all go, that was then, this is now." Logan finally said as he felt her body tremble, he could tel that she had finally cried. He had gotten through to her. Tabby let the tears fall out, the tears suppressed from the beatings, the robberies, the old times. For this was the knew time. She knew that she had a long way to go to trust again, but something made the wall around her heart crack, and let in Logan, he had just saved her from dying and he wanted her to come back to the institute. She looked up at him, tears streaking her beautiful face, she loosened her grip on him to barely holding on as she moved her hands to around his neck, hugging him. She leaned next to his ear and whispered.  
  
"Thank you."  
  


**I want to heal, I want to feel   
Like I'm close to something real  
I want to find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong**

  
Logan smiled and lifted her off of her feet and held her in his arms as he carried her. He glanced at the three teenagers waiting and mouthed to them.  
  
She's coming back' Amara let a tear slip from her face as she hugged Bobby and Ray. The three teens followed Logan carrying Tabitha to the institute, but first having Amara grab her bag. A good half hour later Logan walked in the front door of the institute, still soaking wet carrying Tabby. Everyone who was there looked at him. Rogue gasped, Jean paled, and Scott looked worried.  
  
"What happened?" Jean asked.  
  
"None of your business, where's Hank or Chuck?" Logan asked stepping inside with Amara, Ray, and Bobby following. Rogue looked at Scott who in looked at Jean.  
  
"I'll get the professor." Jean said as Scott said,  
  
"I think Hank's in the lab." Logan grunted and ran to the elevator, shutting the doors as Rogue and Scott turned to Amara, Ray and, Bobby.  
  
"What happened?" Rogue asked. Bobby looked at Amara, and Amara looked at Ray, they nodded, they weren't going to say. They quickly moved to the stairs and headed down to meet up with Hank, Logan, and Tabby.  
  


**I want to heal, I want to feel like   
I'm somewhere I belong**

  
"Logan?" Tabby asked, he saw her face paling.  
  
"Hold on, Tabitha." Logan said as he felt her pulse weakening, and her breathing rapid again.  
  
"I'm not going to make it..." Tabby said letting her voice trail off.  
  
"You got to make it, this is where you belong, hear that Tabby?" Logan said rushing her out of the elevator and into the lab with Hank, he put her in a med-lab bed and Hank walked over to her quickly.  
  
"Oh dear." Hank said as he saw the state she was in. He hooked her up to an oxygen machine as it began to pump regulating her breathing and hopefully stabilizing her heart and strengthening the beating, she quickly passed out though.  
  


**I want to heal, I want to feel like   
I'm somewhere I belong**

  
Early in the morning, at two o'clock am, Tabby awoke slowly, opening her eyes and feeling a machine attached to herself. She looked at the machine then she noticed a hand on hers, she looked to her side seeing Logan, then in the corner of the room she saw Ray, Amara, and Bobby huddled in the corner asleep. Logan smiled at Tabby seeing her awake.  
  
"Logan?" Tabby said looking at him remembering everything that happened as she closed her eyes.  
  
"I'm here for you Tabby, this is where you belong." Logan said to her, he unhooked the machine seeing her breathing stable, like Hank had said, her heart-beat was now regular as well. After unhooking the machine he called in Hank who gave her a check-up and bandaged her hands.  
  


**Somewhere I belong**

  
Two days later, Tabby was up inside her room, they had gotten two new mirrors, and new frames for the pictures. But a few new pictures lay on the dresser. The pictures had been taken recently. She lifted it up from the spot on her dresser. The frame was wooden and had engraved on it, "Somewhere I Belong" The frame split into three pictures, the bottom one being a picture of the institute, the far left one a picture of Logan, Tabby, Amara, Ray, and Bobby, and the biggest picture on the right. Her favorite, it was a picture of her and Logan. She hugged the picture and put it down in the middle. She opened the dresser and unpacked her belongings for good. For Logan she knew had been right, this is where she belonged.************************************************************************


End file.
